Today’s beginnning..

Today,I am in pain because of the things happening in my life that I do not expect to happen.I came to a point that,i loose hope and questioning God about things go wrong with my life.I’am crying right now.I know that,I need to become brave and face this trials but when your in the middle of difficulties, you want  to give up.I would like to write what i feel today because maybe I am trying to atleast lessen the pain I have right now but writing it here in wordpress.I don’t know why came up with this idea of blogging.Maybe its my way of sharing my life to others.I call myself an Exiter….A person who does exit when his/her visa expired.I exit here in Oman from UAE.I’am a filipino girl who wants to go abroad because I thought my success would be here. I grab the once in a lifetime opportunity that came infront of me.I thought this is my time to achieve my dreams. The first month of my stay in UAE is ok.I,m happy because Im already there but I dont know that my life will become  a roller coaster ride. I expect to get a job easily but its not.Some company here said they will give you visa but after that they only used your visit visa..I took another shot with another company that I thought is ok so again they didn’t give me employment visa.I was in Kish Island Iran that time when I’m waiting for my visa.My first exit was in Iran,that creepy Kish Island gave me the first misery in my life.I decided to go back to UAE to try again my luck in getting a job.My cousin told me not to apply because her madam who own nursery school wants to hire me so I decided not to apply and grab the job that has been offer to me.Its a great start because the job is ok and I’m happy dealing with kids.I spent 2 months working there and Madam told me I need to exit and stay in Oman for 1 month again because I’m going back as visit visa again in UAE.When she said that my mind was rolling with with confusion.I don’t know what to decide whether I’m going to exit in the Philippines or Oman.My colleagues told me to exit Oman because its really hard to go back in UAE from the my homeland.Again,I decided to go to Oman.I don’t have any idea what is going to happen there but again I went there with expectation that my employer will give me visa.I went here in Oman with only 1300 dirham in my hand.I paid 550 for my visa in the agency and 245 for the penalty of my over stay in UAE.I have 500 in my pocket for spending here in Oman..At first,its ok,I have new friends which is exiter also but when its already 1 month terrible things happen that really puts you in the mud of sufferings. The hurricane again hits me with claws.The immigation deny my application because my company is not allowed to apply visit visa for women in Sharjah and my bills here in the accomodation of the agency is also a problem that needs to be solve.Now,the last person here with me in the accomodation is going back to UAE tomorrow and I’m the only person left  here,alone….
I don’t know what will gonna happen tomorrow.My family in the Philippines didn’t know what is happening to me here.I don’t want them to worry because I already give them too much problems when I decided to leave.I almost spent hundred thousand pesos just to achieve my dreams.I cannot contact my employer today,she told me she will give me money and visa but until now,no visa is  coming.
I’m hoping for some miracle to happen but when your alone and down,you think so much to the extent of thinking bad things.I wanted to die right now and disappear so that I will not feel the pain.In all the things that I do,I’m asking myself,do I deserve this?I know its wrong to think of negative things like that but I want this to end.However, at the back of my mind,I already start the war,I dont want to give up and let myself stop believing to pursue my dreams.I’m crying because I want to see my mom and hug her and tell her I’m dong this all for you even though I know you dont ask about it.My mom only wants to be with me.I also want that but I dont want to go home with nothing.I don’t want to go home with problems with my hand.I want to go home with smile on my face and telling my mom that my dreams do come true and I will not leave you again..
I don’t know what is the plan of God with my life but I know one thing, He wants me to learn to appreaciate my life even more.

“Its not about being the best in your career and being the best person in the world but just being a GOOD PERSON ..Its not the people nor the things around you will make your life as it is.It is yourself who will make your life beautiful.”

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